Change of Heart

One of our struggles being back in the U.S. is adjusting to our new lifestyle, again. For what seems like the 10th time. We are living in the smallest apartment we have ever lived in since getting married. And we are doing it with two young kids and one old dog. We share a wall with a 90-something year old neighbor, who listens to her TV at a deafening level almost every single night. Her TV that backs up to our bedroom wall.

We are driving one car. We had some practice at this in Costa for two years, but being here with one car, some people think we are crazy. (They could be right!) It isn't really a problem, as much as an inconvenience.

We are living in an apartment with this wallpaper in the kitchen:

Why, yes, that is a bird on a branch floating in a cloud of steam from an old percolator-style coffee pot. It's definitely vintage. But not the kind of vintage that you want staring you in the face, closing in the walls of the kitchen/dining/homeschool room on a daily basis. My left eye is twitching just thinking about it.

I have bruises on my legs from bumping into furniture and walls, trying to avoid bumping into another family member as they come out of the kitchen, bathroom, etc.

We have one bathroom. And a child that's potty training. And another child that waits until the last minute to go. And a husband who... never mind, I'll leave those details out. Needless to say, that can be an inconvenience too. 

So the point of all the whining so far is this: yesterday we had a gripe fest. The girls were asleep in the car, and we were driving home from a morning out (avoiding the nursery at church until the cough/fever/snot goes away). Instead of being thankful that we had that time together, we were dreading going home. Does anyone else ever do this, or just us?

I was thinking of what awaited me at home. Laundry to fold, dishes to wash, dog hair to vacuum, etc. And all in that itty bitty apartment. This grumpy feeling stayed with us as we talked about other delightful topics like money, parenting and insurance. It was a delightful chat! When we got home, we started doing anything we could to straighten up, move things around and try to create the feeling of more space. And you know what, in the middle of moving stuff around, I felt loved. Yes, loved.

My attitude took a little longer to catch up to my heart, but when I look around our house I see people. Friends and family who have helped with their time, given sacrificially, and supported us in prayer for the past 3 crazy years of our life. While they may not have taken every step with us, it is a wonderful feeling to have a home filled with love. 

And when you remember how much you are loved - by God and by family & friends - how can you not start to feel better? I hope that whatever your circumstances, you can look around you and see the love of God, and the precious people He has put in your path. And I hope I can remember to give thanks when I think of these blessings to us. I don't dare list everyone here, for fear of leaving someone out, but if you have given anything in the past three years - money, furniture, prayers, time, services - please know that we deeply appreciate it, from the bottom of our hearts. 

God is so good to us! May we keep that truth securely planted in the front of our minds today. I don't want to forget that His blessings are overwhelming. That His goodness abounds. And that His plan is always perfect. 

I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers...

Ephesians 1:16