I'm (Jeremy) not much of a blog contributor, but I thought I would use this as a way to record what I've been experiencing since 6:8 Ministries decided to pull out of Guatemala, the country we were originally intending to go and serve.
Satan has put a lot of doubts in my mind about what our family was supposed to do. Heather and I have battled these thoughts in anguish at times, quoting scripture to one another over and over again to try and rise above the chaos and confusion that Satan was trying to paralyze us with. And tonight, God finally broke through.
I woke up today (Monday 3/15/10) after a tough weekend of battling the enenmy. I had resolved when we returned from our recent trip to Costa Rica to pray without ceasing until God gave me a specific answer as to whether or not our family should go to Costa Rica. I really wanted a "burning bush" type of answer if you will. This was too big of a decision to make myself, and I yearned for clarity from God. I was confused. We're we called to serve with 6:8 Ministries, or was God perhaps still calling us to Guatemala to serve? I didn't want to miss Him on this issue. So I felt lead to fast today and earnestly seek God. My soul was thirsting for the living God, and I wanted to know where I could go to meet with Him. These words of scripture kept popping in my head as I was getting ready for work, "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."
As I was on my way to work, I began preparing this weeks worship services for church, iTouch style, in transit. I read those words again in Duet. "Man shall not live on bread alone..." and I knew God was up to something.
I prayed through the day, and nothing. I was discouraged. I thought in my flesh, what a waste, and went to have dinner with my family and my in-laws. I had determined when I decided to fast that it could only be breakfast and lunch. I knew that if I made it known that I was fasting, I would get distracted by the comments and concerns of others.
My father-in-law started off our conversation at dinner with, "So what steps are you going to have to go through to get to Costa Rica?" To which, I replied, " the first thing we need is for God to come down as a burning bush and let us know if He wants us to go to Costa Rica or not." Our conversation went on and then God used my family right in front of my eyes to let me know His will.
My wife began speakng of the 6:8 Staff that we were first introduced to in Guatemala. She began to tell of what great, completely average, and humble people they were. And God spoke to me through her. I had one of those vivid moments pop in to my mind. You know where it all is laid out right in front of you in perfect order? You see, Duke Hammond, the President of 6:8 prayed when we were in Guatemala after speking about how God has chosen to use the weak and foolish things of the world to display His power. In His prayer He said "God, we at 6:8 are weak and foolish. That's who we are. That's our resume."
Now while this may not seem like a big deal to you, it was to me. The reason is this - this was the first time I had ever heard that come from the mouth of a man who I felt like really believed it. Every other time I've heard that taught, it has always seemed to fall empty as those teaching it have always seemed to be very polished, professional and somewhat self-sufficient. People who appear to be wise and strong in their Christianity, not foolish and weak. People who somehow always said to me with their lives, the exact opposite of what that scripture teaches. It was so powerful for me to see it being lived out. I knew right then that this was the organization that I had been looking to join. I want to serve with people who have the same heartbeat as I do. John 3:30 was the first verse I ever memorized, "He must become greater, I must become less."
God used this moment in Guatemala to release me from all kinds of outward pressures I had been trying to live up to as a believer. I had been "conforming to the pattern of this" church (that's right, I said "church"), which is filled with sinful people such as me. Wordly people. People who try to use the latest business pratices to guide their spirituality, instead of the Words of God. People who want the American dream more than they want the will of God. People I fit in with very easily. People who love God with their disciplines and religious practices, but not with their lives and actions. People who love to know about God to the point of being awed, and are unfortunately satisfied with the awe itself and cease to know Him through trusting in Him - for things that are impossible for themselves to accomplish. I had been conforming to this pattern, while God had been calling me to pour out His compassion on the undesirables of this world.
God used this moment in Guatemala to release me from all kinds of outward pressures I had been trying to live up to as a believer. I had been "conforming to the pattern of this" church (that's right, I said "church"), which is filled with sinful people such as me. Wordly people. People who try to use the latest business pratices to guide their spirituality, instead of the Words of God. People who want the American dream more than they want the will of God. People I fit in with very easily. People who love God with their disciplines and religious practices, but not with their lives and actions. People who love to know about God to the point of being awed, and are unfortunately satisfied with the awe itself and cease to know Him through trusting in Him - for things that are impossible for themselves to accomplish. I had been conforming to this pattern, while God had been calling me to pour out His compassion on the undesirables of this world.
When all of this came rushing back in to my mind, I was taken back to the original word that God gave me, that lead me to join 6:8 Ministries. All the confusion made way to clarity. God took me back to the foundation, and away from the fear of making the wrong decision. A recruiter at Wycliffe once said to me that he believed that people should find a mission board that's a good fit for them. Not everyone is fit for any one mission board. With 6:8 Ministries, I knew that God had lead me to that mission board. And nothing that has happened since He revealed that to me changes any of that. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, and we will be doing it with 6:8 Ministries as soon as we are "board approved" and generously sent. It looks like we're headed to Costa Rica, since 6:8 is no longer in Guatemala. Pray for Guatemala and Deepstream Ministries as they resolve to not let the Guatemalans miss out on one bit of the love of Christ just because 6:8 Ministries is no longer there. They remain the hands and feet of Jesus to those beautiful people.
Will you please pray for us as we begin this journey? We cannot do it without prayer!
