It's been running through my mind today, and I keep thinking that no other phrase quite captures how I feel.
It's a slightly different feeling from the cliff-diving we did back in November, but all the same, it's uncomfortable. You see, things aren't "how we thought they would be", and the past 9 months have been a challenge to say the least. In the midst of all this 'fishiness', God is working. God is doing great things all around us and even through us on occasion. But it still feels like we need to flop our way back to the fish bowl we call home.
We still speak Spanish at about 15%.
We have a car that spends about the same amount of time in the shop as it does out of the shop.
Our car fills with water when it rains.
It is rainy season. That equals daily rain. Serious rain.
Our 11 month old is teething.
Our 3 1/2 year old is sassing.
Our washing machine is dead.
Our sleep is lacking.
We feel out of place.
We feel unsure.
We are learning to lean on God 100%.
That last statement cancels out all of the ones before it.
As hard is it seems sometimes, and as much as I'm ready to get through this 'phase', it is a good time for me to learn to rely on God. For everything. When we lack friends and family to help, when we lack sleep to keep us sane, when we're all sick at the same time, when we see problems way bigger than we can handle... we just lean. Leaning on Him is what we're all supposed to do, right?
It sounds easy, but our ego gets in the way of our leaning. We like to prop ourselves up. Seem independent...When, in fact, God created us to be dependent on Him.
How's your lean?
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
I've still got a lot to learn... hh
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